The Triple Threat

Let’s go all way back to the beginning of the blog, when I wrote The First Post, and a boy named Charlie left me a comment asking me out. It turned out that Charlie goes to school about 2 hours away from me, but he told me he would be back home for Thanksgiving or Christmas break. The holiday season is now upon us, and with everything that was going on with Lucas, I paused before calling Charlie up to talk about our planned date. In the end I decided that there is no way I can cancel on a guy who’s been waiting 2½ months to go on a date with me, whether or not the date will be an actual date.

In the meantime, I have continued to see Lucas outside of practice. I have such a good time hanging out with him, and I’ve been working through my concerns with public scrutiny and a relationship. We’d decided a couple weeks ago that Lucas was coming back to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving weekend, and I was trying to set up plans with old friends that I only ever see during the holidays. Lucas said to me, “I will stay with you for everything if that is ok.” I thought, Sure! You can totally come along for everything. Except for this one little date with a different guy that I have to go on...you can’t come to that. (Talk about awkward.) I tried to hedge, but Lucas persisted, “Why can’t I go with you?” he asked. You just can’t! Ok? How do you answer that?

Just to spice things up further, I got asked out on a date by a third guy.  One afternoon last week, I went on Facebook to discover a message from a guy I played soccer with over the summer. We have mutual friends that I’m very close with and he is too, but overall, I wouldn’t have quite called us friends. Friendly-acquaintances-that-could-eventually-be-friends, maybe, but we were not at that point yet. I also happen to know that this guy, Jordan, just got out of a relationship and (call me naive here, I think I deserve it) I thought maybe he just needs an open ear. Someone who isn’t involved in his ex’s side, someone who isn’t really involved in his side, someone who could be relatively neutral and definitely non-judgmental. I think in all honestly, I just was wracking my brain to come up with some explanation, any explanation, for why on Earth this kid would think to ask me out. Well he did it. Gave me his phone number and everything, saying that he would call me later to make concrete plans. 



After he asked if we’d like to expand coffee to coffee and a movie at an independent theater I’ve be dying to check out, I knew this was not the friendly coffee that I’d hoped for, and that now I had unintentionally agreed to a date with an interested guy when I am clearly dating somebody else. I have a phrase for when things take a decidedly bad turn: Throwing a fork in the blender. And I believe that is an apt description of Jordan asking me out. What was he thinking? He’d actually met Lucas already, and I’m sure he knew something was going on between us. And what was I thinking? Sometimes I can’t see the forest for all the trees.

But here’s the low-down on the date with Jordan. He met me at my front door, holding a six-pack and asked if he could go upstairs to store it in my fridge. Interesting, because we weren’t stopping to drink it; the show was going to start soon. So we went to a movie showing at the modern art museum I visited on my first date. As we left, I realized that art museum and coffee was the exact same date I’d had with James in September. No need for reliving that one, I decided, so Jordan and I went back to my apartment for beers instead. He pulled them out of the fridge and set them on the table but didn’t offer me any. I know I’m only 20, but I was starting to wonder if he had a thing against underage drinking. Who doesn’t offer their date a drink? Just hand me a bottle! (I did think it was rather clever to put the beer in my fridge though- it guaranteed him a chance to come back up to my apartment later on in the date. Very clever.) 

Next we went to hang out with his friends at an apartment close by. Again, no offering of any drinks. Well, I’ll get one myself, thanks. We had a good time hanging out together, but my phone was going off nonstop. Lucas kept saying he wanted to see me so badly even though he knew I was busy tonight. Then Charlie texted me to set up date plans. Here I am, on the couch next to my date, texting the guy I’m dating, and debating whether to reply to the guy I was supposed to go on a date with in the coming week. How did I get in this position? Plain old foolishness if you ask me.

A little drunk and thoroughly confused, I left Jordan and his friends to go talk to my best friend about everything. (Never forget your date exit strategy.) As I was leaving, Jordan made plans with me to keep each other on track studying for the next day via facebook while he was at work. Clever, because he would get to talk to me again and I really appreciated the help of a satellite study partner. The thing is, I always saw Jordan as somebody who would make a good friend like that. I just never saw him as a good one for me to date. On a date, he kind of sucks in fact. It’s not that I demand someone offer me drinks and hold doors open and introduce me to his friends in order for me to have a good time, but those are the things a gentleman would do, and if I’m gonna be dating somebody I want to be able to think of him as a real gentleman.

It’s a shame because rest of the date was awesome, with good activities and interesting conversation. I really had a good time hanging out. Unfortunately, I spent most of the time thinking that I should really be with Lucas (or better yet, studying) and worrying about how complicated it is to juggle multiple guys at once. Happily, I don’t think Jordan will be asking me out again (unless the study-buddy plan counts) and now I only have Lucas to date. Oh and Charlie to meet as well...