Meeting Charlie

Ok, my date with Charlie.

Charlie first read my blog off our mutual friend's facebook page.  I guess he really related to all the problems I talked about. He told me how brave he thought I was for starting this project and that it takes a lot of self-confidence to put everything out in the open like that. (Boy do I know that now.) But these were my first words of encouragement from a real reader! It was so exciting!

When I texted Charlie about our date, he called me (finally, a phone call!) and we talked for the first time ever. That was a little strange actually: talking to somebody that I was already inclined to like, knowing that we share some similar ideas and struggles, but about whom I really don’t know anything.

Not to worry, by his phone skills I judged him to be pretty cool, if only a little too excited. and I tried, I swear I tried to say that I am kind of seeing someone else. He didn’t seem to pick up this at all; he seemed really excited about our upcoming date, and I admit I was interested in meeting him for real too, but now on a totally platonic level, one which I couldn’t seem to communicate to him through the phone or text.

With this worry in mind, I still set up the date with him. And oh my god, I was really impressed. He had tons of ideas, and he’d planned everything out. Right down to the fact that when we arrived at an indoor putt putt facility that had no cars in the lot, he told me, “I know it’s open, I called to make sure.” Like geez, if anyone wants to go on a date this kid, she better realize that he’s putting in effort to make sure she has a good time.

Back to before the date: With much debate, I decided to tell Lucas about the blog, which meant that I had to come clean about my date with Charlie. I made plans for Lucas to hang out with my sister while I was on the date(she’s a cookie baking master and Lucas claims to be a world renowned judge of this sport). My Date however, got there early (girls are never ready on time! I wish guys would purposely get there 5 mins late and apologize politely for being a bit tardy. That would be ideal.) I don’t have such luck. Charlie met Lucas and my sister on their way out the door. Introductions were made; Clara laughing heartily on the inside, Lucas thinking, “Enemy!” and I’m sure Charlie was wondering who on Earth this random guy was.



Here’s where I arrived on the scene and began a mental ticking clock. How soon do I tell him that I’m seeing the guy he just met? After hello? After the introductory hug? In the car? I lasted about 5 mins. No segue, no finesse. I’m pretty sure I just blurted it out as quickly as possible, followed by many apologies. It’s not that I felt bad for leading him on; I’m not sure that neither of us ever gave the date very much weight. Charlie seems about as grounded as I am when it comes to fantasies in dating. It’s gotta be real, and there’s not much point in getting excited for an unknown wild-card blind date. Honestly I was really more sorry that I couldn’t share the big common factor we had had: being single. I also had nothing to say for it. No magic trick to pass on about how to find somebody. Import them, maybe. 

Regardless of how he felt about this news, he made fun of it in a good way. At dinner I ran into an old family friend who stopped quickly to talk to me. I introduced my friend Charlie who said, “Hi, I’m the blind date that’s not her boyfriend.” Sorry for the confused friend, but I can’t think of a better intro. I’m still laughing.

Charlie and I talked about the blog a lot throughout the night.  He wanted to know all about my conclusions about the project, being three months into it. I brought up how much it makes me think about dating, and the question I posed in Thoughts on Dating, Vol. I. Charlie starting answering the question with the three main points I brought up in the post. Right there I decided that clearly we are meant to be friends. Who thinks like that? Same answers! Same thought train! But different enough to be still be interesting. It was pretty crazy.

He also wanted to know about Lucas, how that story unfolded, and what I thought about it. I was uncomfortable with this subject, and I had two reasons: First, I thought it was masochistic to ask your date about the guy she is seeing. It seemed insensitive to barrel through that topic without any thought as to what Charlie wanted to hear. Second, I was terrified of gushing about Lucas for ten minutes ad nauseam or saying too little which would make Charlie think I didn’t like him very much. And this would make him wonder what on earth I was doing with the frenchie at all. Sounded like a clusterfuck to me. But Charlie really forced this one. It’s like he was saying, if everything else about this girl seems legit, then there has to be a real reason why she likes this guy. And there is. Lots of reasons. Yet no one had forced me to voice them until this point. It was surprisingly helpful.

The rest of the night went really smoothly. On the ride home, my only debate was the question of being friends after this. Are you allowed to ask somebody that after you basically “friend-zoned” them at the beginning of your date? I had broken all kinds of etiquette. Luckily, Charlie asked me instead. So I walked away from my date with a new friend, a new perspective on a good date, and a new perspective on my own situation with Lucas. Charlie thinks I can thank the blog for all of it, but I think in a lot of ways, I can thank him.